The scene practically plays itself out. Crisp Fall afternoon. Super cute (imho) family heading to the park to have their annual Christmas Holiday pictures taken. They’re all lookin great, despite the frenzy it took to get the kiddos (10,9,7) out the door. The promise of a post shoot dinner at the local Greek diner got their butts rolling.
Parking was a nightmare. City life. Parked a 10 mins walk from the shoot, with 5 mins to go. We live 15 mins away. Go figure.
Huff. Puff.
We’re there.
Are you Bryan?
Yes, yes I am.
All right, let’s get this thing rolling before the sun sets.
Greek columns, green grass. Great setting.
Are you Bryan?
Wait. Who are you? We’re supposed to meet for an Engagement pic shoot with Bryan.
Bryan: “oh geez (actually, I think he said something a little dirtier), I must have double booked. Let me finish up here, and I’ll be right with you”.
Dad: “?”
Mom: “?”
Bryan: “So sorry, not sure what happened. Let’s roll.”
Bryan: “Everybody, over here”
Bryan: “No, not that! Girl child…get in front!”
Bryan: “Small boy, better smile!”
Bryan: “Tall boy, look over here!”
Bryan: “NO! Small boy, better smile!”
Lather, rinse, repeat for about 20 minutes. A bit dissapointed. This photographer came highly recommended as a really family friendly and fun photographer. Maybe he was just having a bad day.
Ok, done. got through another year of Holiday photos. Onto Zorbas for some congratualory Greek food.
“I’ll have the Gyros, pancakes for the kids. Sugar Britches, is your phone ringing?”
Mom: “Hello? Yeah, I just sent you the email to send the pics to. Huh? What do you mean? We just left”
%$%! &#(^&^!? (&^@#$)). F*K.
Mom: “We gotta go, I’ll explain on the way. There were two Bryans.”
Um. What? So, apparently at 5pm on December 1, 2021 there were two photographers named Bryan. Waiting at the same spot. In the same park. At the same time. For different clients.
We got there first, and got the wrong Bryan. We got the Bryan that does wedding pics, but doesn’t really like kids.
Scramble. Scramble. Sorry Ms Waitress, scratch the order, we gotta go.
Sun’s going down, back at the park.
Are you Bryan?
Yes I am.
The one looking for the family of 5?
Yes I am.
Butterflies. Dancing in the Leaves. Running holding hands. All sorts of Normal Rockwell Sh*t.
Other Bryan sees us.
Hey, um. what’s going on?
We explain. He tells us he’ll send the pics anyway. He does. They suck.
New Bryan takes great pics. We get the Greek food the next day.
From here to infamy:
Our Daughter is now Girl Child
Our Eldest Son is now Tall Boy
Our Youngest Son is now Small Boy